Last (and certainly least) is our Co-captain Tarantula/Taz/Tarazan/Titty Crystal Collins.

Tara has dedicated her life to the colour yellow, going so far as to incorporate it into her sexy times. All I’ll say is, if Tara started an Only fans, she would immediately get a sponsorship deal with DryNites.Have no fear if you get injured though!!!! Wherevershe goes, Tara carries around her sacred Titty crystals, she truly is at one with nature. Ms Collins, as she is know in the classroom and the bedroom (I mean online learning get your head out of the gutter), is moulding the minds of tomorrow, teaching them maths and geography, while also showing them the importance of charity work by selling a certain committee calendar to the students and staff of her current school. 

If you thought Laura wasn’t “like other girls” just wait till you meet Tara, her taste in music is so underground and edgy, like you’ve probably never even heard of the bands she listens to you normie. Oh you want examples?? Alright, have you ever heard of Tame impala? I bet you haven’t they’re pretty under the radar. And if she doesn’t shut up about how alt and different she is, just throw a swift kick to her left knee, that should shut her up. There truly is no one better suited to being part of the dumb and dumber duo you know as your Hoe-captains.